Simple thoughts

I can say that I have been having simple thoughts. I mean that my heart carries heavy when I'm bound to hide what I am. I have to hide things around my family. If they knew what I did or how I acted they wouldn't understand me. I didn't at first I didn't understand why I was doing what I was doing. Then I thought I had a mental issue but then as I read about things. I began to understand and embrace my self. I began to learn more things about who I was turning out to be. But I felt a inside battle for a very long time when I tried things. I thought that I was doing things just to enjoy a odd feeling a new high that was only by dressing up. I did think that all it was to enjoy a sexual feeling but then I felt my two spark attacking each other. Then I final after a talk with some body that I held real high in my book. I sat down and had a talk to my mother about what I was doing. I told her that I was still the son she had but in a different form that felt better explain. I sat down in one of my outfits and explained what I was feeling. I final was able to show her what i was talking about. I was able to let her in to things and I final had some body on my side that was a member of my family. now she has pasted and I have final was able to bring a another family member in to my fold. My own brother found out and well they didn't like it one bite. We haven't been able to talk about cause they think I a freak. I don't care what people think I am who I am born a male but live as both male and female.